Cuddle Bug

When you came home from the hospital, we co-slept those first few nights. You were small and swaddled, and I was beyond exhausted and over the moon happy that you were in my arms.

Then you grew. Weeks later, you turned how to kick and then roll over and I knew the days of co-sleeping was numbered. By 3 months, you were sleeping in your own crib in your room and have been ever since {granted there were a few instances that I brought you into bed with me to snuggle but then realized the quality of sleep we were both getting was not enough or adequate to function the next day}

Now that you are an energetic 19 month old, we don’t co-sleep anymore. I miss it. I can count the number of times you’ve fallen asleep on me, it’s far and rare these days.

Except today.

This morning, you had the epic of all epicness of melt downs at the park. Big sobs, arched back, on the ground, feet in the air melt down. Why? Perhaps you were over tired, and we were cutting it close to lunch time. Hungry? Thirsty? Who knows. But this melt down continued as we made the walk of shame back to the house {the park was around the corner and down a path from our house} and continued as we made our way inside. Getting you cleaned up and a new diaper was not easy. I think you somehow sprouted two extra arms and legs during this process, or maybe it just seemed like it to me. Once I laid your worn out head and body in your crib, you passed out immediately. Phew.

45 minutes passed and you awoke crying and sobbing once again. Sigh. I walk upstairs to find one pissed off toddler. I picked you up and after swaying back and forth, you started to doze off on my shoulder. I then ever so slowly sat down in the glider in your room and we rocked back and forth for 30 minutes. You laid your head on my shoulder and wrapped your arms around me and tucked your legs in just so that every limb, finger and toe was in constant contact with me. I got the message, I wasn’t going anywhere. Then I started to hear the faint sounds of snoring. Yes, my baby apparently snores. I took this as my cue that you were passed out and I slowly stood up and walked ever so quietly to my bedroom and slowly laid down with you still asleep laying on me. And we napped together for the next hour and a half. With your sweet toddler body on top of me cuddled up and snoozing away.

Oh, how I wished I had grabbed my phone and could have snapped a picture. But I didn’t dare move to retrive it in fear that I would accidentally wake this slumbering baby toddler. As we laid there I couldn’t help but just stare down at you and watch you sleep so peacefully next to me. And as my arm started to go numb and my bladder screamed at me to get up, I just laid there with you, cherishing this moment that you are still my baby.